How To Build Your Wedding Guest List With Less Stress

The traditional wedding guest list rule is the bride’s parents get 1/3, the groom’s parents get 1/3 and the couple gets the other 1/3. Things have changed and more often these days the couple is paying for their wedding. Do what works for you and your partner! This is one of the few times you both get to have all of your favorite people in the same place! Take advantage of that, but it doesn’t have to be stressful. Below you will find a process to help you not only build your guest list but repurpose this list long beyond the wedding!

Selecting the number of guests

• How many guests can your venue hold
• What is your budget –set your budget before you make your guest list, knowing how much the wedding will cost per person REALLY helps you see how important someone is (If we wouldn’t take them out to a $135 dinner they didn’t make the list)
• How many guests are you allowing your parents to invite — I gave my parents 1 table (outside of the family), beyond that, they had to pay the $135pp if they wanted more people (we wanted to keep our guest list at 100)

Building the guest list

If you get stuck these questions may help you decide:

Once you have the names you can get to work!

• Build your guest list in google sheets — you can access it anywhere, sort it, do calculations and everyone can separately make live changes that autosave
• It’s okay to initially build your list separately. It can help you flush out who is really important to you without feeling like you are selling them to your partner
• Ask your parents for their list early — don’t be afraid to set parameters (you each get 20 guests)
• Color code your list — Family, friends, co-workers, sorority sisters, etc. this will help a ton when building your seating chart

Who gets a plus one:

I don’t subscribe to the “B list.” However, I am big on adjusting the allocation of the budget to accommodate the number of people you want there. We had a destination wedding, so once we made the list, we decided how many people we thought would actually attend. This allowed us to invite more than we would have upfront, 210 knowing they wouldn’t be attending (they told us, they were expecting, they can’t travel out of the country, etc). That brought our “yes” list to 140 and we ended up with 107 in the end.

Traditional wedding: 75%-80% of invited guest attend 
Destination wedding: 40%-70% of invited guest attend

How to setup your list

Give every piece of information it’s own cell – this will help with counts, invitations, address stickers, etc. Minted Weddings will address the envelopes for you!

• RSVP #
• Last Name
• First Name
• Mailing Address
• City, state
• Zipcode
• How many people are invited — Did you give them a plus one
• RSVP
• Food Selection
• Kids
• Bridal Shower
• Bachelorete/Bachelor party –this is where the filter will come in handy

What information you need from guest

There are a number of ways to collect addresses. Contact them directly, Zola, Postable, and I need your address are a few.

• Name (first and last)
• Address
• Email –If you are having a destination wedding this is a great way to communicate with your guest
• Birthday/Anniversary — You can use this time to build your personal calendar as well

I hope this helps with building your guest list! Visit the Wedding tab on the website for more wedding-related posts! I really enjoyed the wedding planning process and want you to do the same!

XOXO, Laya